


How to Court an Apprentice

by Redleafmornings



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Hand Feeding, Humor, M/M, Misunderstanding over human mating, no mpreg as requested
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 13:08:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10163690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redleafmornings/pseuds/Redleafmornings
Summary: Fill for Kylux hard kinks post!"Alien Snoke doesn't quite understand human biology, but he does think Hux & Kylo could produce talented offspring together. Snoke instructs Hux to begin courting Kylo, and provides bizarre advice about what Hux should do."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Как ухаживать за учеником ситха](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11608731) by [fandom_Kylux_2017 (fandom_Kylux_2016)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_Kylux_2016/pseuds/fandom_Kylux_2017), [Protego_Maxima](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Protego_Maxima/pseuds/Protego_Maxima)



> It wouldn't allow me to put the link in the summary, so re-adding the link to the hard kinks post[ here](http://kyluxhardkinks.tumblr.com/post/158088238505/1-crackfic-request-alien-snoke-doesnt-quite)

Snoke slowly moved a giant hand through the air, gesturing to the entire room. Even though there was only two of them. 

“I’m sure you know why I summoned you here today General.”

The hologram sat in the chair and kept a tight gaze on him, as if waiting for any sign of weakness. As always Hux kept his expression schooled, and gave a small nod. Saying no would be considered a weakness. 

“Then we will get right into it. As you well know my apprentice is talented, intelligent, healthy, and strong in the force. With a tactical mind, such as your own, I am surprised that I need to instigate this.” 

If anything, Hux felt more confused as to the nature of this meeting, but he gave another solemn nod, as if he was agreeing that it was a shame that Snoke had to bring it up first. 

Snoke waited, and Hux knew he was waiting for a verbal response. In his career, he had learned to be vague enough to give people the answers they wanted. 

“I was just unsure on how to move forward with the project, Supreme Leader.”

Hux had a bad feeling about his choice of words when he saw the pure delight that spread across Snoke’s scarred face. It was an expression that had never graced his face in all the time Hux had been under him. It was the first time Hux felt truly nervous in front of the Supreme Leader. 

“You should have come to me. Of course you have no idea, you are hardly past a hatchling yourself.”

Snoke’s fingers steepled in front of him and he leaned forward as if sharing a secret. 

“Make sure you take the time to point out the features you have that he may find attractive. Such as your large officer’s quarters, and your ability to grow bright ornamental feathering. He will likely be very attracted to that, so make sure you show off your colouring at any chance. Tell him how soft it is, and let him feel it. Brush it against his face to remind him that your children will inherit your showy feathering. After you can listen to him tell you about his work with the force and nibble on his ears to show you are listening.”

Hux, for the first time in his life, was without words. 

Sadly Snoke took his lack of interruption as wanting more advice. 

“To properly court a mate you need to ply him with food, make sure you hand feed him to show him that the food is not poisoned. While he eats, you can then begin to caress his nose, it is highly erotic. If he does not respond to that I would be surprised.”

Hux was grasping at the advice, not sure how to tell Snoke, that not only did he not want to mate with Kylo, but that even if they did their union would not bring about children. Not that he had a chance to interrupt now, Snoke was warming to the topic now, as if he was remembering his own courting days.

“Invite him to your quarters often, even if he refuses your mating, Kylo will be impressed by your persistence. You can send invitations, eight, nine times a day even. You can just spend time preening him the first few times, preparing him for the mating. Organising his feathers and licking his skin clean, Force knows he doesn’t groom himself enough. After dong that a few dozen times, and you notice him cresting his feathers, you can take out your genitals and show them to him as an example of your dominance. If he accepts, Kylo is ready to mate. Have Kylo dance for you, to help move an egg downward for you to fertilize. I think you can figure it out from there.”

Snoke gave a fatherly nod, as if pleased with his advice, even proud of himself for stepping in and helping his apprentice obtain a mate. 

Hux managed to pull himself together enough to nod along, pretending to be interested as deeper horror settled on him.

Hux supposed if he followed Snoke’s suggestions to the letter, he couldn’t be blamed when Ren was repulsed. Honestly it was a perfect plan, all he had to do was listen to Snoke and then he would not be blamed when their union never happened.

“Your advice is very wise. I will make sure that I listen to it every step of the way. Thank you Supreme Leader.

The hologram blinked out of existence and Hux was left with all the information he did not want.


	2. Chapter 2

Kylo was frustrated, the mission went well, but the Supreme Leader seemed uninterested. Instead he kept asking him about the General, and if he noticed that the General seemed highly competent and if he had seen that he was one of the tallest of their breed on the finalizer.

It was as if his work meant nothing next to Hux’s. 

He was almost fuming by the time he left. The General was no better than him, he was too preoccupied with the First Order to be truly great. 

Running into the General made his mood worsen. He was wearing his greatcoat over his shoulders like a primped up bird, looking small and weak in it.

“Ahh Ren, you’ve returned.”

Kylo thought it was impressive that Hux managed to sound smarmy in so few words. The mask hid his distaste, but he had other ways to make sure that the General know he was disliked.

“That is none of your concern.”

His reply came out darkly through the vocoder. He was pleased by the annoyance on the General’s face, it was all the response he needed. 

“Did you know I have the largest quarters on the Finalizer?”

Was the General trying to outdo him? His arrogance was unbelievable. As if something so small as quarters on a ship could matter to Kylo when the living force was all around him. 

“I am not concerned by your worldly possessions.”

For some reason Hux looked even more smug at his negative reaction. 

“Not even my red hair? I’ve been told it’s very bright.”

Was this a new intimidation tactic? Kylo for once debated reaching into his mind to see. Although forbidden by Snoke he managed to resist. Kylo began to worry that Hux was taunting him in a way he did not understand.

“Of course not.”

Hux looked so pleased with himself it was infuriating. 

“Well then, when you have time come to my quarters and tell me about the mission.”

Kylo was left baffled as Hux turned and then with an odd flip of his hair, he left.


	3. Chapter 3

Hux had already sent half a dozen requests for Kylo to meet him and it was only just past lunch. He had been doing this for three days with no success. In fact, each time he mentioned his hair or his quarters Kylo would react angrily. 

That is why he was surprised when after the first five requests of the day had been refused, but the last one actually got an acceptance. 

They would have lunch. 

It was time to handfeed Kylo and nibble on his ears. Maybe a bit of rubbing his hair in Kylo’s face to properly turn him off. 

Hux ordered a special meal to be brought to his quarters, one that would allow him to scoop it up in his fingers and stuff into Ren’s mouth in the most grotesque way possible. 

Hux was positive that Ren had only accepted to get him to stop, but Hux knew this was perfect. Snoke would never be able to blame him, it would lay all on the head of his apprentice. Then this waste of his time could be done with.

He returned to his quarters early, and set up the small coffee table with the ‘finger food’. Then he brushed the product out from his hair, and then finally removed his own gloves. He was ready for the madness, and if things got out of hand he had a blaster by the door that he could use to slow Ren until he calmed. 

When his door buzzed, he walked to it to answer it. Hux would at least begin their odd courtship in properly. 

As he had hoped Kylo was already radiating anger as swooped into the room.

“What is the meaning of this General?”

Kylo’s voice was guarded, and he stood in the middle of the room trying to look intimidating.

There was no point beating around the bush, it would probably just make him seem more off-putting if he blurted it out. 

“I am trying to court you Ren. Or have you not noticed how soft my hair is right now?”

Hux waited in glee for Kylo’s outrage at his confession. Except there was no rage, Ren stilled as if he was a statue. 

“General.”

The word was warped through his mask, but he could hear the shock in it. 

“Continue.”

He finally said, and a hand reached up to the side of his mask. There was a hiss as it was released and then Hux got his first look at a rather handsome young man. His lips looked soft and for once Hux thought maybe the handfeeding wouldn’t be so terrible. His hair fell around his face softly and Hux momentarily wondered how Snoke thought that he didn’t groom it properly. 

Hux shook off any warm thoughts about his hair. Even if Kylo wasn’t put off yet, Hux was positive what was to come would be enough.

“Sit on the love seat, allow me to feed you lunch.”

Kylo frowned but seated himself, still looking on guard. 

“If you have poisoned the food, it will not kill me.”

Hux almost smiled at that one, maybe Snoke did know his apprentice. 

Instead of responding he just sat next to Kylo and picked up some of the thick brown protein mush. It was thick enough that he could roll it into a little ball before pressing it into his lips. There were as soft as they looked, and the pad of his thumb rubbed against his bottom lip. 

Kylo closed his eyes as he took it in, and he slowly crewed up the ball before swallowing it. 

Hux kept feeding him like that, having to agree that for once it was slightly erotic. Too erotic, in fact. Each time he fed him a bite he had to lean into Kylo’s side and sometimes Kylo would flick out his tongue and lick Hux’s fingers clean. 

Hux always wore his gloves, the tips of his fingers were sensitive to the tongue lapping over them. 

It was time to change tactic, after the last bite he wiped his fingers on Ren’s robe and started to gently rub his nose, starting between his eyes and then moving down to the tip before moving back up. Kylo opened one eye and made an approving hum before leaning back even further back into the couch. 

Stepping it up another notch he gripped the arm of the couch and fully leaned over Kylo, letting his hair brush against Kylo’s face. 

“See how soft my hair is, wouldn’t you like to feel more of it?”

He heard a sputter, but he wasn’t pushed off, instead he was coaxed into Kylo’s lap. The hands he always felt were oversized now fit perfectly on his ass. 

“I would.”

This wasn’t working, it was strange and yet Kylo was accepting it all as if this happened every day. Hux needed to cool it down before he started to react himself. Being in Kylo’s lap was rather compromising. All the sudden he was realising how wide Kylo’s shoulders were.

“How about you tell me about that last mission you were on?”

Kylo cleared his throat and Hux could feel that Kylo had more than polite interest in what was happening. 

“Are you sure you want to hear?”

The dull tirade that he imagined was coming would help. He was sure of it. 

“Please.”

He shifted to the side to catch the lobe of one oversized ear in between his lips. Kylo moaned and Hux told himself it most certainly did not arouse him to hear it.


	4. Chapter 4

Kylo got the eighth message that day from Hux, he had missed the others while he was training. This one was an invite to his quarters again. Not that Kylo wasn’t interested, he was terribly interested in everything the general had offered up, and he was flattered by the attention Hux was giving him, even if it was a bit odd. 

Kylo knew that they came from different planets, he supposed Arkanis had some strange habits, and the General was a proper man. Of course, he would want to court in the traditional way. 

It had been a lonely existence until recently. He rather looked forward to their times together. There was new respect between them, and they had even been working together in their daily life. The First Order felt more important to him now that Hux was important to him and that made a difference.

After a few weeks, the hand feeding started to change into make outs sessions on the couch, after their kisses tapered off Hux would rub his nose until he was falling asleep. 

Then more recently there was also the long conversations with ear nibbling and lately sometimes Hux would lick and suck on his neck. Kylo often felt Hux’s erection pressing against him during those times, and he was reassured it was not manipulation.

When they started to share a bed the last two days, he was further reassured, as there was no way that Hux could fake an orgasm like that. 

Kylo smiled and accepted the invitation. 

That moment of peace was broken as he was called to meet with the Supreme Leader. It would either be a new mission taking him away from his new relationship, or it would be a scolding that would be laced with the pain of force lightning. Neither he looked forward too, but he knew better than to be tardy. 

He felt deeper misgivings as he saw Hux already waiting outside the Holo-theatre. 

“General.”

Even through the vocoder his voice was warm and Hux gave him a responding smile. 

With that they entered the room.

The hologram shortly came online and there were a few blinks before it stabilized. 

“Ah, General, I have appreciated your updates, but you have fornicated several times; why is Ren not yet heavy with young?” 

Hux licked his lips and paled to a ghostly level, but Kylo relaxed. His master approved of their union, that was even better news than he could have hoped for. 

“I’m not sure, Supreme Leader. We’ll just have to try harder.”

Hux replied before Kylo could say anything about them both being male. 

The giant head turned its gaze towards him, nodding a few times. 

“You will just have to dance harder Kylo Ren, it is an important part to dislodging the egg.”

“Of course, Supreme Leader”

It was the only safe way to respond, he could figure out what Snoke was talking about later. 

With a few more odd comments the session finished and he was left was an uncomfortable looking General. 

“The egg?”

“I think he was hoping our relationship would have more tangible results.” 

Kylo reached out and put a reassuring hand on Hux’s shoulder. Hux relaxed, a reaction to the closeness they now shared.

“I suppose we could try gene splicing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus  
> \- After a few weeks Hux started to truly like Kylo, they were talking and touching and a lot of it was good.  
> \- Except Hux had already locked into messaging him 9 times a day and following Snoke's odd instructions, because it started with the hope to put Kylo off. So now he doesn't want to alert Kylo to the fact that this started as a plan to make sure they were never together, and is stuck continuing some of the behaviors like nose rubbing, hand feeding, and messaging him constantly.  
> \- Hux feels it is worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at [ Redcole](http://redcole.tumblr.com/) :3


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